Today was my sister's birthday. Like yesterday, I remained in my room just reading my summer reading book for hours while she spent the day going out with friends. Pretty much the only time I spent with her was at 8 PM when I wished her a happy birthday with my parents downstairs as she blowed a candle on a bite-sized cake. She didn't really even eat it, my mom said I could eat some of it so I had a few bites. It felt weird though. It was the only time we spent together today and we didn't really interact, but more importantly I didn't have a gift for her. Last year I convinced my mom to order her an Asuka Langley plush (because she loves Evangelion, we already had a Rei plush at the time), but this time around I had nothing. I don't really give or get her anything but she's given and gotten me a lot of things. She doesn't really seem to care about that, it doesn't even seem to be on her mind, but I still feel a bit guilty for it. After the birthday wishes were soon done I just went back upstairs, but it felt weird. It feels like we were distant even though we weren't that far apart, on a day where we probably shouldn't be.
A bit over a week ago I watched 'Aftersun' (2022) on the plane ride back, and since then I've been thinking quite a bit about it even though I didn't connect to it all that much (I do plan on rewatching it in 2 days though). It displays memories of a father and daughter remaining close despite being distant in their understanding of one another. I feel something similar.
- Anthony “Salteh” S. • • •
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