Reconnecting to Our Environment

    For the past few years, I'd say I have a bit more "freedom" at home, but I'm not even sure I'm using it correctly. Since then, I've taken over an office-like room that my mom used to use for her work, and over time I've gotten more stuff to set up here, like my mic, keyboard, and mouse, mainly just for streaming.

    I've just stayed here for so long almost every day of my life since then, whether it be to play games, watch videos, talk to my friends on Discord, etc. But, it's pretty much taken over me. Usually after school, when I return home I'd go straight upstairs to this room and stay here probably until the end of the day, except for when I go to the bathroom or if I'm called by my parents to come downstairs for a bit. What I need to give myself is a break from all of this. If my mom and sister are going to the mall, or New York, I just don't come along, I just stay at my desk, doing what I do almost every day. I'm usually not able to give that to myself, but on the 6th, my parents give us a break for a few days from all of this, and let's just say, I enjoyed it.

    A couple weeks before it started, my parents told my sister and I about it, a camping trip in Maine, but we never really prepared and packed up until the day before, I didn't think it would mean much to me. The day later, early in the morning, we left. It took a long time, though we did stop at Connecticut for a while for breakfast, as well as the Pez Visitor Center. But then we kept going. It took a long time and got exhausting, but eventually we got there. Thing is though, we didn't start as a forest as I expected since I was told it was a camping trip, we started at a hotel. But that's fine, we explored downtown and visited a really nice place along the shore. The day later though, we left the hotel and got to the forest, as I was expecting. A forest area owned and set up with campsites.

    We set up the outdoor chairs, set up the outdoor table, and just sat there for a bit. The rest of my family just sat there playing Uno while I just sat there, looking around, taking in my view, the sounds, the colors, the other campers around us, just all that was there. Later we set up the tent, then started our campfire. Our first one wasn't the best, we had our Firestarter and new what to do with it, but weren't really able to start the fire, so my dad just used his lighter to start it off. We heated up some food and ate, set up the air bed, and still had a lot of time to ourselves. My sister later started a campfire, and she actually did really well. For the rest of the camping trip, she'd be the one setting up the fires at our campsite. Throughout all of that, I often found myself wandering off near the campsite, I had no limits, my parents didn't give me any. They wanted me to enjoy this place, and I did as much as I could. I remember there being a tree stump very close to our tent, and I'd spend a lot of time just standing on it, looking around, "playing" around with twigs and pinecones. I enjoyed it, and for some reason never found it boring, there was always something to do.

    The next day started off really early. My mom woke us up and started being super annoying, acting like she's the main character and that she's the only one who actually cares about the trip. We went to a spot on this bridge above a road and watched the sun rise. It was fascinating, and I took one picture of it that just looked amazing.

    Later in the day, we continued on and while my mom and sister stayed in the tent to rest, I stayed outside, looking around. At one point I was literally by myself, until my dad came back. We decided to walk around the whole camp, and I kind of enjoyed it. We even stopped by a big amphitheater in the camp area. Later we returned and I rested a lot in the tent. It's like there was something new every day.

    The next day, it was done. We packed up, waited in the car for a bit, then went off. I relistened to Blonde, watched Cowboy Bebop, watched some Dunkey, just anything to shave off some time. Eventually we got home, resetting back to a different life, adjusting back to how things were before. But after switching things back, I will still never forget this experience.

    I have never enjoyed being outside as much as I have with that experience, it really opened up a new world for me. I experienced so many new things that just felt special to me. Probably the only reason why I don't usually show an interest in the outdoors is because it just isn't as interesting as this experience, because it was finally something new.

    That's it, apparently we're going to be going on another camping trip in August. The topic for this blog post is probably irrelevant now to me since I started it after the camping trip but often got distracted, but I finally got it done now, I'm relieved.

-Anthony "Salteh" S. • • •

Update On The Music

    If you haven't heard already, my debut EP, going by the name of In A Rush EP is finished and ready to be released. It's a 4 track EP lasting almost 18 minutes long. I'm very glad it's finished, I spent exactly 3 months working on it. I expected it to get done way sooner, considering that it was meant to be rushed, which is why it's called In A Rush EP, I was in a rush to have it done. But that's no big deal, I'm glad I've finished it, and I'm glad I could put it out, considering I've already set up a draft of it on Bandcamp. But there's a bit of a problem.

    I love using Bandcamp, it gives a lot of features and is able to help artists big and small to sell their music directly, release music in different formats, give out free download codes for their music projects, etc. I was definitely planning on giving out free download codes to my friends and even some of you all by posting codes over on Twitter. As excited as I am to release it there and put it out, there is a problem with it. In fact, there's two problems.

    The first problem is setting up a PayPal business account. At first, Bandcamp asked me for the email linked with my PayPal, so I did that. But as I was preparing my Bandcamp account when the EP was ready, I realized I needed a PayPal business account. So last night I spent time trying to set it up, but I later realized that it asked for a lot. I had my mom's permission, she guided me through some of it, but they later asked for a picture of private info, like a driver's license or a passport. At that point I decided to let go. I know that if you want to set up an online business and sell things online, you need parental guidance and support, which I did have. But the other problem is definitely related, though more to Bandcamp.

    I did have experience with making a PayPal business account in the past, a few days ago I wanted to set up donations for my Twitch account, but that also required a PayPal business account. Now that I think about it, I think I'd be more comfortable setting up a PayPal business account for that, so I will most likely have donations up soon. This is mainly because Twitch is more accepting when it comes to age, allowing you do all kinds of streaming stuff if you're under 18 with parental guidance. However, with Bandcamp, it's a different case. It seems like a more mature platform, and it requires you to be at least 16 to release music, whether there's parental guidance or not. I know I could just cheat my way through it and still release music there, but I don't feel like doing that. I'm 14, and if the only thing I can do is wait until I'm allowed to release music on Bandcamp, then that's what I'll do. If I tried to release music there now, that could put my artist account at risk, and I don't want to do that, so I'll leave it aside.

    What will this mean for me? Well first off, don't worry, In A Rush EP and any other projects I release before I'm 16 will still be released on YouTube and maybe other music services as I initially planned, just not on Bandcamp until I'm able to. I know it'll be weird, but artists like Radiohead and Björk have been making music longer than Bandcamp has been around, but have made artist pages there and dumped their music there so it could be easily bought physically and digitally. So I will do the same thing. Also, any albums I've imagined being released one day may be delayed by a lot, which definitely sucks, considering that I've envisioned them being released sooner.

    Honestly, I'm not too worried about it. Artists usually spend a few years making and releasing songs and short EPs and mixtapes, but don't release a full album until years later. They do it to prepare themselves, already put out some music, and to gain some recognition before they release a full lengthy project. I planned on rushing everything, getting the EP out quickly and soon enough getting an album out, but that's too much. This quick experience has helped me realize that I should slow down the process, give myself time, and try doing something simpler for a while to prepare myself for this.

    But yeah, that's it, the EP will be out soon on YouTube and hopefully other places. I'll just be taking my journey as an upcoming artist slowly. I hope you all understand.

-Anthony “Salteh” S. • • •

Something to Realize

    Haven’t typed out a blog post in a while.

    If you don’t know, I graduated from 8th grade 2 weeks ago. There was so much happening on that day in the length of a half day at school. We watched as some did speeches, got our certificates, took our pictures with each other, and left. The day was really special for me, for later in the day, I had a conversation on Discord with one of my classmates. I thanked her for everything: for always being by my side, for always being someone I felt comfortable around during dark times I had to go through (like the friend group drama around the start of May), for helping me out throughout the year with a lot of things. She deserves the world, really.

    The day after, however, was the last day of school, but this time it was really something important for all of us. It’s not like we could just wait a few months and then see every one of us at school, a lot of us were moving or transferring schools because we’re entering high school. Everyone got emotional, savoring every second, spending final moments with each other in what would feel like forever. I, on the other hand, didn’t really do that, though I wish I did. All I did was play Super Smash Bros. Ultimate with a few classmates using the Switch that I brought, and just promote a Discord server I made to bring the whole community of us students together. In the end, I was laughed at, the server still remained small, and I was extremely embarrassed.

    I later hosted an online party and hoped for it to be a really wholesome event filled with the community of students in my grade, but it was just one of my best friends and I and we didn’t do much. Though we did enjoy our conversation, I really wanted a lot more, for I planned on, at one point, taking out my guitar and performing and singing Self Control by Frank Ocean to really evoke our feelings. I wanted to see all my classmates watching and their reaction, and even for them to feel proud of me for setting everything up and showing care for them.

    The day later I announced in the server that I’m giving up on it for a while since it was barely growing, expressing how I feel. Luckily, I gained a lot of support and advice from my classmates in the server. The server later grew a bit and had a bit of activity. I was glad that happened.

    Despite all of that and even the fact that I’m a few weeks into my summer break, I still can’t stop thinking about my classmates, the school year, and the memories we made during that time period. 2 days ago my mom was driving my sister and I home after we went somewhere, and on our way we passed the school, and I started feeling a bit emotional. The next day, I had a counselor come to my house, and during the counseling I looked straight ahead and would see a hanging letters banner that was hung up 2 weeks ago for a party for my graduation and still left there. The banner said “CONGRATS GRAD” and it caused me to think about the school year memories yet again. It’s just crazy to think about, it all feels like it went by too quickly, it all felt like a movie. I look back at a tweet I made about the first day of school starting soon, and that first day didn’t feel too far away.

    After all of that, I’ve figured that the reason it felt so close, yet so far, is because we never let it cross our minds. All we did was endure everything that happened and continue to move on and roll with it, the only thing motivating us is, well, us.

    You all can go off and continue to hate school for all the work thrown at you that really pressures you and stresses you out, I do too, I’ve been there at one point during the school year. But just realize that you still have the hope, the motivation to keep going, knowing that you’ll be around people your age learning with you. You get to spend time with them, and you’re forming memories while you’re at it. So, you may as well appreciate it while it’s lasting.

-Anthony “Salteh” S. • • •