It's almost the end of the school year, but I've stumbled so much now, especially in ELA. At the start of the semester, we were given a new book to focus on, but I received it late. That probably wasn't my fault, but once I received it I barely made progress on it for a long time. I basically lost the energy to do so and was constantly procrastinating. I feel like I took advantage of the fact that I received it late as an excuse to do so, and I shouldn't have, but I can't help it. At one point I did skip all the way to the part of the readings that we were focusing on so I could get some credit, and I did, but then I fell behind and am now halfway through the book while everyone's finished.
At the start of each semester I tell myself that I'm gonna focus more on my schoolwork and that I'll do better, therefore I'll be able to get good grades and impress all my classmates and teachers, because that's what I've always wanted to do. I don't want to do decent anymore, I want to feel like I'm above others instead of them being above me, but now I can't.
I feel bad about the fact that my mom's been getting my teacher to give me decent grades when I don't think I deserve it. I want to tell her not to give me them, because I feel like if this keeps up, I won't learn from my mistakes and improve. I feel like I'll just take advantage of it further when I don't want to.
Throughout the next week, we're gonna be having a Socratic Seminar Prep in ELA as well as final exams in two other subjects. I'm really worried.
- Anthony “Salteh” S. • • •
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