Nothing But My Thoughts

    I recall an experience I remember having while playing Undertale. This ghost-like creature called a Napstablook invited me over to its house. There wasn't much to it and didn't seem interesting at first, until it invited me to lie on the ground with it. As we did, we concentrated and lost focus on the things around us, and eventually the background changed into this space-like scenery, the items around disappeared, and the music changed to some ambient synthwave music. It was really interesting, and recently I've thought about it even more.

    Every few months I tend to catch a cold that lasts a few days, and a few days ago I got another one. Having that's made it harder for me to do my daily tasks I give myself. That, combined with 2 days ago, with another boring counseling session at my house and places I had to go to that took up my time made things even tougher for me to complete some things. That night I thought about something simple, peaceful, and empty that I wanted to do. I imagined just lying on the floor, looking at the ceiling, and just easing myself and my thoughts.

    Yesterday felt pretty much the same. Another boring counseling session. During it, however, I kind of zoned out of the session. I was partially in the moment in the counseling, but also out of it at the same time, zoning out, letting my thoughts move freely. After the session, I thought more about it. I thought more about the dream experience of mine. I recalled how I really felt the air coming from the AC, and it finally came to me. Here's what I envision.

    I want to be in a dark grey room during morning time. There's no artificial light, just the natural light from the sun, shining onto the window, and onto the floor, lighting up the room a bit. I want it to be an empty room, no sounds, except my breathing and the air moving around. I just want to stare out the window, letting my thoughts run free. I want my thoughts to fly ahead of me. I want to explore the world with just my thoughts. I want to feel everything.

    But yeah, that's that. Chances are, I won't be able to experience an experience like this any time soon. My house's filled with stuff, and my family's always moving around the house, always invading my privacy when I want it. I don't really feel too free either, since I don't really get to go out of the house unless my family is. Wish I could though, I know tons of other teens get their parents' permission to go out for a bit. Aside from that, I'm fine if it means going to a different place. Realistically, I could find the perfect place in the Philippines.

-Anthony "Salteh" S. • • •